*heaved sigh of relief*
Charles texted me not five minutes after I put the last post up, and came online ten minutes after that. So now I have my hair down, I'm relaxed, and I'm studying. It's so strange, you would think that I'd be incredibly distracted by the fact that Charles is finally online. Instead I'm able to concentrate better than I have all day, and I'm more focused then I was before. I've gotten used to going through the first half of my day without him around, just because he wakes up so late, but... it feels like I don't really start enjoying my day until we start texting, and I'm not really awake till we start Skyping. Like the rest of the day doesn't count, or something.
I guess that's good, in a sense. If it were that I was constantly distracted around him, and if we got married, I'd never get anything accomplished. That... I honestly don't think that'd be healthy. And there's obviously /something/ that goes on in me when he and I are together. If it steadies me, it can't be bad. In fact, it's probably very, very good. And it's good that there's such signs of balance between us. Even if I don't put much stock in predictions via horoscopes and astrology like Fio does, it's still a good way to get a read on someone's personality. If Charles is 'airy' and I'm 'earthy', that's all well and good. All I know is that he grounds me just as much as I do him.
At least, I hope I do. XD
20100502
Sunday. 2 May 2010.
I'm fretting. And no, it's not about the impending Calc final that I'm waking up at 6:30 tomorrow for. It's for Charles - something that seems to be quite common.
Normally I'd try to shake it off; Ben and Fio are commonly quite helpful in reassuring me in that regard. However, the fact that I've had two texting conversations with Char today, one at 7 in the morning after a message he sent me at 5, and then another conversation at 11 or 12 that ended quickly... He didn't fall asleep before five, and he seems to have dozed off after our conversations, but during the conversations, or at least the first, he kept on about how he wasn't fit for society, how he wishes he had been born someone different. I did my best to push him in the opposite direction, keep his mind at rest, but I'm still concerned. Very concerned.
It doesn't help that it's almost 7 and I still haven't heard from him after our noon conversation, nor does it help that Fio seemed a bit concerned about the lack of a Crumpy.
Needless to say, I haven't gotten much studying done.
It's raining out, and I'm wet from walking around in it; my hair's in a braid and bun with Char's bell on its green ribbon around it. I think I might keep this style. It's nice to have my hair off the back of my neck.
And I've also found out that one of the people working on the internship is a junior with his own apartment for him, his girlfriend, and his pet puppy, and that he'll probably be inviting the lot of us over for grill-outs often. I'm rather looking forward to that; it'll be nice to have a community like that to introduce Char to when he comes down. ...I should just stop fighting it. I'm going to babble about Charles, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. v.v
I can't wait till I get to meet him. Like face-to-face meet him. Nervous and excited, thrilled - I can feel my face flushing just imagining it. My heart's racing because I took a moment to think of how it will be like, having him standing next to me, arm around my shoulders or my waist. And I don't think I'll stop grinning for a very long time. Giddy. Joyful. Filled with laughter...
I'm considering going to the party Fio's thinking of hosting in June, but I'm not sure how it would work with my work schedule on the internship. x.x Maybe I could work more during the first few days of the week and then go during the weekend. I won't know until I get there, though. My main motivation for going would be getting the chance to be with Charles. But I'm also really eager to meet Ben and Fio.
*wrings hands* I don't know what to do now, so I'm going to try not to worry. I pray Charles is alright. I hope he managed to get a good block of sleep, though I'm beginning to doubt it. I hope he's not nauseous any more. I feel bad for attempting not to worry. And I don't know if it's foolish or not to feel that; all I know, in this case, is that fretting constantly will do nothing more then drive me into a panic, and that will lead me to do stupid things; Charles is a grown man...
This is doing nothing to help. I hope Charles finishes his part of whatever-we're-writing quickly. I can't wait to start it. It will give me something to do... Nnngh...
Normally I'd try to shake it off; Ben and Fio are commonly quite helpful in reassuring me in that regard. However, the fact that I've had two texting conversations with Char today, one at 7 in the morning after a message he sent me at 5, and then another conversation at 11 or 12 that ended quickly... He didn't fall asleep before five, and he seems to have dozed off after our conversations, but during the conversations, or at least the first, he kept on about how he wasn't fit for society, how he wishes he had been born someone different. I did my best to push him in the opposite direction, keep his mind at rest, but I'm still concerned. Very concerned.
It doesn't help that it's almost 7 and I still haven't heard from him after our noon conversation, nor does it help that Fio seemed a bit concerned about the lack of a Crumpy.
Needless to say, I haven't gotten much studying done.
It's raining out, and I'm wet from walking around in it; my hair's in a braid and bun with Char's bell on its green ribbon around it. I think I might keep this style. It's nice to have my hair off the back of my neck.
And I've also found out that one of the people working on the internship is a junior with his own apartment for him, his girlfriend, and his pet puppy, and that he'll probably be inviting the lot of us over for grill-outs often. I'm rather looking forward to that; it'll be nice to have a community like that to introduce Char to when he comes down. ...I should just stop fighting it. I'm going to babble about Charles, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. v.v
I can't wait till I get to meet him. Like face-to-face meet him. Nervous and excited, thrilled - I can feel my face flushing just imagining it. My heart's racing because I took a moment to think of how it will be like, having him standing next to me, arm around my shoulders or my waist. And I don't think I'll stop grinning for a very long time. Giddy. Joyful. Filled with laughter...
I'm considering going to the party Fio's thinking of hosting in June, but I'm not sure how it would work with my work schedule on the internship. x.x Maybe I could work more during the first few days of the week and then go during the weekend. I won't know until I get there, though. My main motivation for going would be getting the chance to be with Charles. But I'm also really eager to meet Ben and Fio.
*wrings hands* I don't know what to do now, so I'm going to try not to worry. I pray Charles is alright. I hope he managed to get a good block of sleep, though I'm beginning to doubt it. I hope he's not nauseous any more. I feel bad for attempting not to worry. And I don't know if it's foolish or not to feel that; all I know, in this case, is that fretting constantly will do nothing more then drive me into a panic, and that will lead me to do stupid things; Charles is a grown man...
This is doing nothing to help. I hope Charles finishes his part of whatever-we're-writing quickly. I can't wait to start it. It will give me something to do... Nnngh...
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