Wednesday. 31 March 2010. Part III.

Dear Charlesjournal,

Both Gasper and Ian asked what I was blogging about. I told them that I was blogging about how exciting college is. So, to not lie, I'll go on about that for a paragraph. Starting now.

College is exciting for a few reasons. First off, in college, we have a lot more free time. Second, we're surrounded by like-minded people (sometimes). Third, we have access to free food, although getting it is difficult because mama doesn't always cook for us. Fourth, we have to do our own laundry but don't have to clean our rooms (except if our roomies want us to).

The end.

Alright, now that I've taken care of that...

Good morning, my love. I hope you rested well, or at least got more sleep than you did Tuesday night. Go ahead and text me whenever you want, or rather, don't worry about waking me up. I'm not that light a sleeper. <3

And I also hope that you didn't get killed taking Geoff to the airport. Because if that happens, I can promise you that you will have a very, very upset Rachel at your funeral. A very, very upset Rachel who probably would be functioning not at all. ...yes, you're right, doom and gloom are very common in the evenings. v.v

I can't get you out of my head. Well, that's normal. But that comes with very uncontrollable smiling and impatience for summer to get here already, damnit. Just being able to constantly snuggle/nuzzle/cling to you... And then imagining married life. Oh god. Epic. Absolutely epic. I... if I had to describe my thoughts on it, they'd have to be something like this:

Waking up in the morning and kind of wriggling out of bed, getting dressed and coming back to watch you wake up or snuggle a bit or something similar. (maybe insert taking care of the pet(s) here) Just going about doing day-to-day things - having my research sprawled over the kitchen table and you coming up behind me, your chin on my shoulder, and prying me away for Charlestime - figuring out how to cook together, because have you ever watched a couple who's cooked a lot together move around in the kitchen together? It's like some sort of dance. Dance lessons, of course, and spontaneous spinning about the living room or whatever our first apartment house thing has. Quiet humming, laughter, soft kisses... and the evenings where I watch you work at the computer, bleary-eyed, curled up in the blankets, before you eventually cave in to my pathetic meweling and come to bed already...

And surprisingly enough, I'm not blushing right now. Just filled with this strange sense of longing. It's like I can reach out and touch it; it's just beyond reach, so close, and yet so far at the same time. I miss you so much right now.

I love you, Charles. You're my smile and my laughter, the swing in my step and the hum in my mouth. You give me hope, remind me I'm not crazy, keep things in perspective. You're - don't laugh - you're honestly what grounds me. I really do wonder how I ever got so lucky as to be able to say that I know that you're mine, and always will be. Belief in that comes slowly, very slowly, but it is coming.

So good morning, my love, my sweet. I'll talk to you soon. <3

Rachel



P.S. Tiara killed me for shooing you off to bed. I have no regrets.