Thursday. 15 April 2010.

Areughpaft. *flops*

I hope Charles decides to go to school today. That would be swell.

Lesse. Words. Oh. Okay. I'm so, so, so incredibly glad that I woke up at 5:45 this morning to check my phone. I wish it had been about twenty minutes earlier... That panic you feel after a nightmare, when you're not sure if the people in it are alive or dead, and you're in a half-asleep, half-terrified state so that even if you're telling yourself they're alive it doesn't do anything... Yeah, I know how that is. x.x Thankfully he calmed down enough to go to sleep, because his responses got further and further apart until there wasn't one. I'm glad. So, so glad. I was close to attempting to rip a hole in the fabric of space itself to get to him, which probably wouldn't have been very good for the rest of the world.

Which reminds me. On the way back from lunch -

Damn ice cream truck is getting really annoying.

- I remembered how I had told Char a while back that I thought people looked their best while they were sleeping, or right after they woke up. I didn't remember if I explained any further, but I remember him being confused, so I'll explain now. I don't mean beautiful as in 'OMGEE THEY'RE GONNA BE ON A MAGAZINE COVER 8D'... I mean it more along the lines of inner beauty.

Like... I believe that there is something beautiful about every person, something in their core that shines brightly. But it's covered with layers and layers of filth that make it difficult to see. When someone's sleeping, it's like digging through a small part of the dirt to see the beauty underneath. There's no masks, no fears, no pains. The person you see asleep on the bed is the person when they're not trying to be someone else; it's who they are, pure and honest and simple. It seems like you could learn so much about a person by watching them as they sleep, studying their face, their expression, the way they move slightly, the way they breathe... I know I sound like a creeper saying all of this. But yeah. I seriously will, if able to do so unobserved, watch someone as they sleep. For a good, long while. Just entranced with the person I'm seeing, trying to paint them in a good light.

Yay idealism. *waves little flag*

***time lapse!***

It's 1:30, almost 2, and still no word from Charles (that's his time, not mine). I have to admit to a bit of worry. Trying to tell myself that it's nothing, that he's just sleeping late or forgot his phone (which he's done before). So I'm not gonna freak until later. I don't know how much later is later, tho. Ah well.

So I just got out of the shower (what the heck is up with my habits lately? I've been showering in the middle of the afternoon for a few days now!?!!) and while I was in it, my mind was wandering to different scenarios of how this weekend might go. Gonna ask mom if she wants me home this weekend since it's my birthday and everything. Which means no Skyping, most likely, and most likely very awkward meals... but for some odd reason, my mind was bringing up a really hopeful scenario.

AKA mom and pa actually decide to sit down and talk about all this in a non-confrontational manner, and maybe encourage me to skype Charles as well, and they not only admit to his presence, but also don't disown me and after a lot of talk, agree to give it time before they give any more judgment.

I particularly like the part where mom is shocked by what Jen did. But that's probably just my tiny vindictive side talking. So I'll hush it now.

Charles... where are you?!??!